Sometimes it's better to leave things the way they are

Just read somewhere that sometimes we look for closure, but after we get it, it just leaves us empty on e inside.

Sometimes it's better to leave things as it is. At least the fantasy is still alive and e fond memories won't b ruined.

U didn't msg me this morn.. Y m I still so obsessed abt u.. Thinking abt what u r doing every minute of e day.

U hv clearly moved on.. But as usual.. Too afraid to tell me ur true feelings.. Or just think they r not impt.. Nothin to tell anw..

I miss u love!

4th time.. I'm sure u were out w her yday.. I couldn't get u out of my mind e whole time..

I don't know how to stop loving u..

"Now u're just somebody that I used to know"

That's e song playing radio now. I'm afraid that's what I'll b to u in time.. Feels so sad..

I asked if u're jio-ing her now.. I just can't help myself.. I alr know e answers but I always just need to hear from u.. U didn't answer e question, only said u've been goin out. That's when i got reminded of e prata msg.. N it still hurts. I guess u both must hv progressed much since then.

Y m i still crying?

Y does it hurt even though u just replied what I already know deep down. What r u doing stupid gal!

Everything is just happening as I've expected. But why! Why can't I let go of u..

Hv been v emo these 2 days.. Mayb coz Hj left? Don't know. Keep having e urge to cry. N keep thinking abt crazy stuff. Driving me nuts! Feels terrible to not b able to tell u how I feel now.

I need distractions. But I don't want distractions. I still choose u.

It's one mth. Is it a coincidence u change ur fb status today?

I mean u totally could hv handled it better. Y make it public. It sucks tt ur fren liked ur status. Ever considered my feelings?

Realised tt in e past whenever I concuss on ur bed watching tv, u were there to off it for me. And now.. It's just me..

Today is e 3rd time u nv msg me for e whole day.. Y m I counting?

Saw tt Felicia n junhao got engaged. I know I'm supposed to feel happy for them. I guess I m. Just tt I also feel sad at e same time.

I can't rem whether u told me or it was fel who said junhao didn't want to marry (tt was quite some time ago). N now, they r havin their happy ending. N us.. We can nv.. I guess I just feel particularly sad coz junhao is ur friend n fel's mine.

My brain tells me we w nv b tog again. But my heart doesn't want to believe. Y do I still have hope?

Y m I still using passwords tt remind me or r linked to u

I miss u..

I'm crying again.. :(

Oh just rem there's also e note I slipped in ur bag during e body check up!

U found e note I hid in ur cupboard today.. Somehow I feel tt u hv found e last ting I left for u to connect to me. So in a sense I feel quite sad. I nv thought abt how I'll feel or what I expect when u'll find it. In fact I can't rem what rubbish I wrote in there. I tink it was all a desperate attempt to still feel connect to u in a way. But now u hv found it.. Theres nothing more.

U didn't keep anyting from our r/s. anything tangible anw. Except for our drawing n my love&attention. So hopefully this adds to something to remind u of me...

I still think of u everyday

Oh that also stops me from staring at my whatsapp screen tracking when u were last online etc! N I just snap pics of convo that I wana keep

Want to know my secret on how I resist whatsapping u? I always delete e chat window aft we talk. Haha

Can I treat u just like a good fren?

Sorry abt last fri.. U know e feeling when u know u r doing something stupid but still do it anyway? That's how I felt last fri when I asked u y don't u love me anymore. N y r u so heartless.

I've decided not to pile anymore of my 'emo distress' on u.. I'm sorry u were affected. I didn't think u would be. But u r e person that I'm most comfortable sharing my secrets and inner thoughts with. I'm just not used to turning to others.

So I've decided to just blog everything here. I'll pretend tt I'm talking to u ok?

I feel that I can't let go until I know u r with another gal. I can't imagine being touched by another guy w/o knowing for sure u w not take me back. In a way to ensure tt I don't get 'tainted' stupid hor? What kind of stupid logic hor? Sigh.. So I'm hoping and not hoping at e same time tt u tell me u're attached.

I've been feeling horny thinking of u..

Today's e first day u didn't msg me at all

I think I'm still affected when I say it out of my mouth. Tt we are really through.

I guess u 2 must b dating now.

I think I can nv really let go n move on until I know tt u 2 get tog. If its a matter of time I wish tt it would b sooner then later.

Just read someting today that when I look back I'm actually romanticising our r/s. tt I only reminisce e gd memories. But e other parts r really cruel to remind me of